At the end of the year gone by I started to really think about what I want out of my life, this life, I only get the one so I want to make sure I use it wisely and to get the most out of every day and every minute.
Adam and I had, and still are having, one of those moments in time when your whole life gets flipped on its head, on its arse and every which way but the right way. I’m pretty sure everyone goes through life with at least one of these times but if you’re lucky like us, it happens a lot as we seem to attract it. Not sure why? Hmmm……
Anyway this certain moment in time made me take a long hard look out our so called lifestyle and to be honest I am a bit over it. We are just bumbling along on this path that never seems to end. Just going through the motions and not really living life to the absolute fullest. Don’t get me wrong I do love my life but I know it can be so much more than it is right now.
So this is it I’m slowin’ things down, I’m taking control, I’m taking time to breath.
I’m going to relish and cherish in all the joys of my family, my friends, our place we call home and the world that surrounds us. I want to reconnect relationships with the people that surround me and be able to really communicate with each other and express ourselves and our true feelings.
You know, I always have thought I was really good at being switched on to their every need and want, my husband and my girls I mean. But lately I have found myself saying things like “not now” or “maybe later” and sometimes not even really listening because I am just snowed under with all the stuff that has to get done. Most of these requests, so simple, could have brought some joy and happiness to us all and I missed it, I missed the opportunity and that makes me sad.
Time is a funny thing. For me it has always seemed impossible to find any more time through out the day and god forbid I use any of it on myself! Boy oh boy, I was so wrong.
You know what I did. It is soooo shocking. I actually just said NO!!!
I said No to people, No to all sort of things. It is really quite liberating. Saying no has always been such a hard thing for me to do and the guilt was oh so nasty but I did it. I was always trying to please everyone else and I had never thought to put myself first. I learned to say no and you know what, the world didn’t stop turning and the people around me just kept doing what they do.
I did it for me. I did it for my loved ones.
I want my life to be simple & uncomplicated.
Do you think that is possible? I have seen many a blog where there are amazing people doing just that and this is some thing I want for me and my beautiful family. So I am on a mission to discover just that.
I do realise there is always going to be a certain amount of complexity to life but surely there is a way to balance all that out.
We have one of those big desk calendars that I have on our fridge and all of those squares (days) were always filled up with things that had to be completed. Now days not so much because I have learned how to use the “NO” word.
Those squares on the calendar had stuff like after school activities, Netball, Karate, Soccer, Speech therapy, Psychologist appointments, Volunteering at school, My time support group, Coordinating the Sibs Club, Pottery classes, the gym, Girls social club and the list goes on. So much time gone out of the week, the month, and one big old crazy mess on the calendar.
Granted many of these things I love and have enjoyed doing and some have been a necessity but actually just going through that list it makes my head hurt.
|Me & my faithful calender|
So I found myself going through each of these activities and prioritising.
I love lists; I am one of those nutty list making people. I love being able to cross off something I have finished. Which is ironic as my mum and husband would tell you I am renowned for not finishing anything, so it is a great accomplishment to me to cross off my list. Told ya, nutty!
Anyway, I am also renowned for getting of track!
So to shorten my never ending list of commitments that have to be done, it became a bit easier as our financial situation, like many, was and is looking quite sad. This is also the year of us living frugally but more on that later. So off I went, culling away at that list, making choices on what was essential and what was not.
Now my calendar is looking so so good and every time I walk past it my chest doesn’t go tight anymore. I literally feel free and I able to breath.
I highly recommend this for anybody who is living in their own world of chaos. It’s as easy as making a list, well there is a bit more to it but you know what I mean.
This is just the first step for me but I’m on my way to finding a little bit of calm amongst our chaos.
Love this song, Paul Simons “Feelin’ Groovy”, it’s my happy tune, I think I’ll make it my very own theme song.